Abandoned?

Oh yee of little faith, Foro. Though you did in fact, pick a team that requires a lot of faith, and stole my own selection in the process. Well, the Bless You Boys thank you, I don't but they do.

My pick is Minny -3. Like all good minis, mini-skirts in particular, this mini will be off in no time. Farve is going to stick it to Green Bay like Michael Vick putting down one of his dogs. Actually, Farve might feel the tiniest, mini-iest bit of remorse.

I've gone ofer this year and I almost hope my streak continues. There is no ccline on this blog and as clever as it could be, it's not quite there without it. Otherwise this is just a bad sports gambling site. So while my mini-reverse heater continues nobody is taking special notice to pick against me.

Speaking of idiot quarterbacks... Aaron Rogers... I haven't seen a guy look more like a deer in headlights not named Eli Manning under an NFL center (willingly) in years, maybe since Spurrier was throwing his UF alums to the Defense Linemen of the NFL.

Talking football Auburn should be ranked next week. Thought they had too much talent to be as bad as they were last year... and they did. Their head coach should get little or none of the credit, their offensive co-ordinator is crazy good (read Stewart Mandel on Si.com) but they are thin. They might upset one of the big boys in the SEC West though.

EJ's Gem(s)

Carolina +9. Bonus play: Under 48.5.

I

AZ -2.5

I realize that picking AZ to cover anything as a lock of the week makes no sense. However, the Dolphins ran Indy's defense ragged on Monday. Now the Colts travel to The Promised Land on a short week.

By my math, 45 minutes of defense on Monday night + short week + 2nd road game in a row = Az. cover.

Slumpbuster

Cleveland +13.5

Way too many points, even Mangenius can't screw up that bad

I love early season fad teams (aka the Ravens or the Aints) that cause line makers to go out half cocked like a fat kid at an all you can eat buffet. By the end of the season both those squads are pushing .500 and on the outside looking in at the playoffs.

I feel a heat wave coming on, lock & load boys

Alabama -17.5

One GIANT step for mankind...

PTL is officially on holiday. Dylan, Donna and I are three hours away from hopping on a plane to Disney World. Before we head to the happiest place on earth, I thought I would make little magic on here.

We are staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge so naturally I looked at the Lions to cover the 6.5 vs. my Skins. Love the Lions in this game -- should use them to get paid. The Ravens -- Caw Caw -- too big a line. The Jaguars -- can't touch them. Panthers -- tempting? My animal theme not working too well..

So in the land of the little mouse, I am taking the G-Men -6.5 vs. the Bucs. Tampa is the closest thing to Orlando in terms of football and they will be smoked by this Giant team. I'm thinking two touchdowns...

The best part about my trip will be my inability to see the Skins on Sunday. I don't want to be there to watch when we help Detroit end their streak. There is only one dim-wit in DC...and happens to be a billionaire who purchased my favorite franchise.

PTL boys. May all your bets pay handsomely...

Long Rambling Post, but my LOW is near the top...

I'm awful at survivor pick em too. I liked both the Cards and the Steelers to win week one and week two neither did. I am no longer picking one of my survivor picks for LOW. Below is some survivor analysis. For mediocre comedy read my reply to Rory's lame post in the comments section below that.

Also, I gave some heat to Ro-ro and puss in my previous post which I think most people missed.

First off: MY LOW: Pittsburgh -4. Taking them on the road again. This time at Cincy. BTW, why is Green Bay a 7 point favorite at St. Louis? And why do I know nothing about the NiFfLe and gambling?

Okay Survivor pool thoughts to come, feel free to put the phasers on blast and trash my thoughts. Puss you may have to adjust yours from the George Takei setting of Fabulous:

Last Week:
The Bears can thank the place kicker for Pittsburgh. But placekickers tend to miss more on the road, so good reason to not take a three point favorite on the road when you know the game is going to be a battle and decided by a play here or there. BTW, I like Pittsburgh on the road again at -4.5 at Cincy. LOL. They say, the insane keep doing the same thing and hope the result is different.

I hope we never have to pick the Redskins again. I still don't know how they won that game. And lo and behold they play Detroit this week (I'll get to that).

TN... that team is suspect. 10 years ago I was leery of Kerry "Tom" Collins, after 1 good year I shouldn't still be? What's that two for 13 in his career (rookie season and last year and maybe a hot streak with the G-men late one year?). And Houston, I think is pretty decent this year. Just got a vibe about them... don't know why. However, post game comments were all about the one game and a chip on their shoulder and not a chip on their shoulder for the season so maybe not.

This Week:
Baltimore-Cleveland: I won't forget this is a bit of a rivalry game. However biggest line on the board at home... automatic pick right? Also it ain't the pack-bears or skins-boys so we'll ignore one of our previous rules. Flacco, may have a bit of Rothlisberger in him, so I'm fine with taking the Ravens for the time being despite going against my not liking to take defensive teams.

KC is hanging tough but I like Philly at home. Vick is going to play some. Will that be good or bad for Kolb? I don't know, it's a bit of wild card. Back ups tend to play better when there are no expectations and nobody to look over their shoulder. That's if they aren't named Tom Brady or Steve Young. Will have to ruminate on this.

San Fran v. Minny. San Fran I think is a bit like Houston. Surpisingly decent and competitive. Minnesota at home, you gotta figure they got enough, despite the mike singletary "culture" on the 49ers. However, it's not hard to see Minnesota taking the Niners a little lightly and this being a statement game for the Niners. Tough to chose between philly and minny at this point.

Redskins-Detroit. Arguably we dodged our bullet by picking the redskins who can lose any, ANY game. But last season if we picked against detroit every week we'd be okay. Streak has to end at some point, and speaking of streak busters the Redskins are the fat ugly girl in the bar so maybe we should practice avoidance.

Dallas-Carolina. -10 at home. I look for the Boys to bounce back, Barber is 50/50 (that's bad). I hate that the panthers have to win this game, too. Course so does Dallas, so maybe they are even in that regard. 10 points is a lot, oddsmakers must know that Carolina is worse than we think. Plus, the G-Men barely won at Dallas (thanks to improbable bobbles), and the G-Men might be the best team in the NFC. Panthers aren't the G-Men right now. This is my number two pick, Dallas takes care of business.

Out of the other three (Bal, Dal, being 1-2 for me)... Tough, is Philly any good, or are the Saints that friggin' good? You know what, f it. The G-men are the best team in the NFC East. Number three I'm going with a road team, coming off a prime-time game against a team in desperate need of a win. (I violate three of our rules or what?) G-Men are number three for me.

KOD special - Cocks +4.5

KOD has cyber dissappeared. In honor of his cyberleague death, I'm tipping a 4-0 and going with a Thurs night special. Plus I'm taking the cocks. I realize "I'm taking the cocks" is code between Hank and Bill whenever they want to get a game of Hide the Remote on, but in this case it means Ole Miss is not ready for prime time. Is this really a top 5 BCS team? Maybe, hell even the Aints are 2-0 but like them still have to prove it when it counts.

I'm taking the Cocks. +4.5. hank/bill put away the remotes.

NE -4

The falcons have faced two inept passing teams so far, that defense is about to get exposed.

Dim Wits in DC?

Skins rookie calls out the fans for booing a team that ended up winning, somehow has to apologize for it.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4492151

This is what happens when you don't have a good QB - you can't score and the fans boo. Unless it's Philly, where booing is the native language.

Sheldon Brown

A caller, an Eagles fan actually, to Mike Francesa's radio show on WFAN in New York just said that Sheldon Brown should throw himself off of a bridge for his mask idiocy followed by his awful performance. Those were his exact words. The caller then ripped into Kolb, calling him Kevin "Corn On The" Kolb.

Stay classy, Eagles fans.

Boooooooo

I really wanted to hear some of the commentary in the fourth quarter of the Saints vs. Eagles game but the sound was continually drowned out by the chorus of boos from the Philly "faithful." It got so bad at one point I thought Santa Claus may have been in attendance, then I realized he was in the Philly press box dreaming up more gimmicky wildcat plays. My favorite was the play action wild cat with the running back throwing to the fullback.

Memo to Sheldon Brown, you do not wear a Jason mask during pre-game intros and then give up 48 points. I do not know if it was supposed to be scary or funny but it was neither.

Calm down, we only beat you slightly worse than Detroit so all is not lost. I am sure when the dog killer suits up next week that wildcat will be just plain nasty.

Week 2 Results

Struggling so far, as only Mo and Blake posted victories, with 1 game left and no pick by KOD. 4 of our losses were by less than a TD.

Bill - Pitt -3, Loss (Pitt loses by 3)

Shoats - PSU -29.5, Loss (PSU wins by 25)

Juiceman - Tenn. -6.5, Loss (Tenn. loses by 7)

Scott, Seattle +1, Loss (Seattle loses by 13)

Mo, Buffalo -5, win (Buff. wins by 13)

Blake, Baltimore +3, win (Baltimore wins by 5)

Roro, KC -3, loss (KC loses by 3)

Hank, Dallas -2.5, loss (Dallas loses by 2)

Pending

L3K, Indy -3

No pick:

KOD

I Gotta Feeling..

The Blake Eyed Peas think tonight's going to be a good good night. Last week was a terrible fluke -- I'm putting that one on Perry. Oddly enough -- I was going to bang Tennessee for my LOW but the JuiceMan beat me to the punch (wholly Juice-soon, Batman!)

I'm taking the Ravens (Caw-Caw) on the road to cover +3 in San Diego. The Ravens are legit and Norv is going to start his season 0-2.

Like a finely tuned automobile, it can take me a while to get going. Once I get going I'm butter -- on a roll.

PTL (Pay the Lion)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMxASjxRk1w

Forester's Pick: Seattle +1

Bang Bang

Titans -6.5

Most over-rated team in the NFL (besides the cowgirls)....the Texans. This one has double digits written all over it

Lock & load cyber I'm back...you can celebrate my return with a roast

The following video adequately summarizes how I feel about my fellow "competitors"....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckm5Oy227UA

Buffalo -5

Buffalo should have won at NE and Tampa is bad enough on offense before probably losing Antonio Bryant for this game. The Bills will be looking to bounce back at home, get your popcorn ready I see a late TD by TO for the cover.

L3K' Pick

Trap city this week and I wouldn't touch these games with EJ's poker winnings. Thought about taking Atlanta but I have a soul and cannot bear to watch Delhomme throw 5 more interceptions. Thought about the Jets, but Bellicheat will surely find a way to stymie the dirty one, right? The Broncos over the Browns? Closer, but I never liked Orton. Fine, I'll take Indianapolis -3 at Miami. The wildcat offense is going to be on a wildcat strike by the end of the 3rd quarter.

Hank takes Cowgirls -2.5

some things about this video:

Dallas couldn't tackle

Toomer had a field day

Steve Smith showed he could play

Giants d-line showed a preview of what the Pats got in the Super Bowl

Dallas cheerleaders, nice.

Penn State -29.5 vs. Temple

Temple is awful. JoPa's assistants are gunning for jobs and running the show, so they have no problem running up the score. Penn State is the pick. It'll be a leg-breaker for Temple.

KC -3

generally its not smart to take a bad team as a favorite. except when your opponent is the raiders. its kind of like tipple playing perry in basketball. would you want to bet on either? no. but generally if perry is playing you take his opponent. its hard to cover when your score is a bagel. nobody should bet on Tipple unless the bet was whether his trunk is full. but I guess here I'm taking Tipple over Perry.

I dont see much in the raiders besides mcfadden. I think jemarcus russell has eaten the rest of the team.

Call Out of the Week

Well, it looks as if L3K has called me out on not posting. Fair enough. But I'll continue a trend and call out someone. And I'll continue another trend and make that person Perry.

Reason?

Simple. His two "Sell the wife and kids if you have to" picks of the week were plain nasty. Nasty like the fries that Shannon Guignon regurgitated in New Orleans back in '94 (Mo and Roro were there for that).

Not good nasty.

First, there was the Blade of the Week, where he tried to take the Pats, who were dominated the entire game at home and somehow managed to squeak a money line victory out of it.

As an aside, if ever there was a fix in an NFL game, that was as good as any for suspicion. Guy brings it out from 4 yards deep and then somehow fumbles after that, gift-wrapping a victory for the Pats? Suspect. Check his bank account.

Anyway, back to Perry. His second, follow up? San Diego, who was embarrassed by awful Oakland and their joke of a LSU QB for 90% of the game, only to barely win in the last 30 seconds.

Apparently, after those games, Perry now has no wife and no kids.

Awful. But typical.

Mean Joe Green

Pittsburgh -3. More to come. Just wanted to get my pick in.

This week there are a lot of games to like on the board, and almost all of them are sucker picks. I've already put the redskins on blast and as it stands that game is still going with them hanging on to a 2 point lead, so I will delete my thoughts about them.

Weird Arizona is taking Jacksonville to the woodshed, and playing like I thought they would last week. Finally getting to watch games, sunday is a day I play poker online (and I have a great online poker face, kind of like my great face for radio) and watch the NiFfLe, used to be a day I'd track picks, usually the sucker ones I fell for, and play fantasy football.

Speaking of sucker picks, Kanya "Imma Let You Finish" West went face on Taylor Swift like Ro-ro and a bunch of fantasy football players that bitched and whined about a draft date to their commish. Kanya thankou for the new phrase. I will use that in spoken word even if I'm the only one that gets it.

As for the fantasy football, when the keys to the kingdom and commisionerhood was given to that group, they swiftly decided to not be able to kick the league off.

To me it was always better to have a league than not have one--call me old fashioned. There is no date that everybody can agree to, so you cater to the majority and hope the rest can figure out how to use the auto-draft. Unfortunately, most of them can't, and then they bitch and whine all year. Still, they bitch and whine while playing fantasy football. It would be a nice diversion for me when I play online poker.

So, when Ro-ro confidently averred that he could do better, I remember suggestions that running a league was easy, and the Sheriff was going to get done, so... I expected better. Then our fantasy football league went the way of the Dodo. Now, I gave Ro-ro a heads up that I was going to peel back the scab on this old wound and bitch and whine, much like others bitched and whined to me, and he let me know in no uncertain terms, that despite dropping the ball last year, this year the ball was dropped by the Puss.

So, Puss, are you the guy responsible for us not having a fantasy football league this year? If so tsk-tsk to you.

On top of that, if I put shit together and you know... actually have a league to kick off next year, can you whiners sip some self-served shut up juice. Maybe you'd rather not play then be able to bitch. So be it.

Okay, that's enough from me, in regards to that, except to say it would be nice to be trouncing you fools in fantasy football right now. Instead I'm going to play some poker.

Last week's results

Seeing that the commish is on cyber-vacation in some of Brooklyn's finest coffee shops, here's a quick run-down of last week's results:

PTL ("Praise the Lord"?)-- Pats -10.5. 25-24. L
EJ-- Saints -13. 45-27. W
Juiceman-- San Diego -9. SD wins, 24-20. L
SRF-- Seattle -8.5. Seattle rolls, 28-0. W
Who Dat Nation-- LSU -14. LSU prevailed, 23-9. Push
L3k-- Cowgirls -6. America's team, 34, Chipwich & Co., 21. W
Dooleyera-- Redskins (not for long)+6.5. Game should've been a blowout. Giants 23, Redskins 17. W
C.S.-- Az minus points. SF wins in Az, 20-16. L

Cyberleague goes 4-3-1 on the week.

Ode to Aints Fans

Mo - Make sure you ask the bagger to double up this week when you hit up Danny & Clyde's for a Po Boy. You'll be rocking this look again after the Eagles drill you on Sunday

Shady McCoy

New Feature - Blade of the Week

With the advanced technologies that this blog allows, I'm introducing a new feature to the Cyberleague - the blade of the week.

It's dedicated to the poster who tries to slide the biggest blade through on his pick of the week. In poker, it's called angle shooting, in real life it's called being shady. Here, it's the blade of the week.

The first blade of the week goes to...Geoff Perry. Not only did he blade his pick, he took a hacksaw to it and tried to take the only game that had been picked up to that point as his own. Just ridiculous, much like his emails, his track record and his basketball skills.

So in honor of this week's B.O.W, Gay Perry. I offer this clip.

Danny Boy & the Foreskins +6.5

I think the famous band Tick Rogers used to open for Danny Boy and the Foreskins. or maybe that was the band in Animal House. could be a good name for a drunk Irishman and Kandarp Patel playing dueling pianos.

regardless give me the Skins +6.5. L3K has stolen some of my well known logic. ideal is skins get a late meaningless td to get within 6 for backdoor cover. if they get blown out se la vie. but I do legitimately like them to cover. g men will have a hard time scoring on their D. I mean look at all that big play potential on that giants offense....please....Fat Mo in college had more take it the distance ability than the giants offense.

the over/under on this game should be in the 20s. has 13-7 written all over it.

L3K's Pick

The Cowgirls -6. The Yucs have a new coach who just fired his offensive coordinator. Great way to start the season.

L3K hates the Cowboys, so either:
1) Dallas covers. L3K gets his annual win.
2) Dallas wins but doesn't cover. L3K hates Dallas even more.
3) He picks them and they lose the game outright. Still a winner.

Tigers and Dogs

Give me LSU -14. Nothing like a college homer pick to start the season but I am not buying Vandy running up the score last week and LSU will be trying to prove a point at home after a long West Coast trip last week.

As for the dog killer, just getting to this but Perry's post that this move was "just plain nasty" from a football standpoint is great. I would put it more like just plain desperation. I expected some franchise to be desperate enough to sign him but was thinking more along the lines of Al Davis and not Andy Reid. Vick was just plain average before he want to the slammer, there was talk of that upcoming season being make or break for him in Atlanta. Just ask Roddy White, he has $50 million reasons why he is glad Chris Redman and Matt Ryan were throwing him the ball the past two years instead of Vick. I wish Vick were playing next week when we come to town, I would take the ball in his hands in the Wild Dog offense any day. They will be throwing dog biscuits at him and booing him like Santa Claus in Philly by the middle of the season. Until then, have another scooby snack and keep thinking he is just plain nasty.

Forester's Pick: Seattle -8.5

Perry picks SD

EJ LOW Saints -13

Wild Bill's lock 'o the week

Pay the Lion. Nice work. Love the cub. Can't wait to see the two queens with a white lion soon. White Lion now that's a rock band. "When The Children Cry," is their opus and what you tots will be doing at the end of the season, weeping from the whooping I gave you.



On the lion theme, I guess I should pick the Saints to murder Detriot. If you thought so, you thought Wrong! Is this one long strand of non-sequiter--maybe, but maybe not as the white Lion is a red herring and the Saints are a paper tiger. You still with me?

Good, give me the original paper tiger Kurt Warner and the Arizona Cardinals. Never, ever thought I'd write that. What's next the Clippers to win it all? I love sports gambling. Getting into the $100 survivor pool tonight. I'm keeping those picks to myself for now.

I also loved the Puss's bluster on email. You and Blake gots to figure out who has who can you both have the Patsies? Who was first? By the way, Shoats with a little ingenuity you can put a standings graphic permanently on the front page.

BLOG = Blake Loves Organized Gambling

Classic post Shoatsie. Now here's one to help you put some coin in your man-purse. I'm going to start the season with a big line (I mean lion). My opening shot for the 2009 season is...



Patriots -10.5 vs. the Bills in some Monday Madness.



Brady is back. The Bills suck. It is simple as that. My bonus pick (cause you know you want it) is the Steelers tomorrow night. Go ahead and give those -6.5 points. It is going to be smashmouth football but the defending champs win by at least a touchdown. Pay the lion, boys. Let's get it started.

This is more like the post of the year. Watch it and thank me later.

Troy gets smoked

Troy, Scott's -7 pick, loses by 17. Awful pick.

Easy Cover

OK State dominates the last 3 quarters to easily cover against Georgia, who couldn't move the ball consistently.

http://espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=292480197

It's on.

Shoats' bonus pick of the week

Go big or go home. While all the rest of you are relaxing on the beach or picking games that involve teams like Troy, I'm stepping up, even in the preseason, and picking a marquee game.

Oklahoma State -4.5 against Georgia

OKST. has the tools to make a big run this year and it kicks off at home in week 1. Georgia lost its QB from last season and OKST returns Dez Bryant and its upperclassman QB. Their defense should be improved from last year but I don't know if UGa has the offense to stay in this game.

The preseason pick is OK State -4.5.

Bang. It's on.

Let's Get This Season Started

WEEK 1

"Forester - Recently changed his facebook status to "In a Relationship". Has a history of picking over/unders, just a terrible idea."

Troy/BGSU - the O/U in this game is 56 and BGSU is getting 7 at home. This is Clawson vs Brown, a battle of former Spiders. Since Levi Brown had a good ending to last season and Clawson is still installing his system, I am not going with the over, but instead going to take Troy -7.

Levi gets his revenge for Clawson's decision to name Ward the starting UR quarterback (a decision that has worked out for all parties involved)

TROY -7

(after game comments: sticking with the over/under for the rest of the season)