Mr. Juicey is Back

Did Ro-ro really say more juice and put up a photo of Kool-Aid?

What? Talk about fumbling the opening kick off.

If this is the start of this league this will be like taking candy from a baby. First REAL juicing of the week goes to bill dooley, who because of his moniker obviously expects a lot of it.

Bill Dooley, Mr. Juicy has been dispatched to you stat.
Not only does Kool-Aid essentially lack juice, a fact I knew basically an infant, it also is a popular phrase in reference to Jonestown. "You are drinking the Kool-Aid" meaning you are a mindless lemming following the crowd to your own death. In essence, the complete and utter opposite of juicing somebody. So, it doesn't really work on two levels. If I really were to try and be understanding, granted I'm grasping at sugar water straws here, and view the image only for the "Oh, Yeah," comment like "Snap!" but 80s style, okay... but why settle for a picture why not a video... Watch for a Ro-ro cameo midway through holding a newspaper.



While I admit I served a juicing with Mr. Juicy for Dr. Goodroll, and that too may lack any real juice, at least the name has something to do with juice. Course, Ro-ro ain't the villain here, we all know that. And, indeed his attempt to add some multi-media to this corner of the Internet, ham-fisted as it is, should actually be applauded. Sure, the execution like that of our quarterback in December through early January (we have no idea how he plays in late january), was lacking, but the effort was there. I liked the prison on the premises of the Vet thought, but I would have probably gone with Vick's already got his personal lockerroom--or something along those lines. Still, the effort was there. Ironically, a compliment he most often heard from his coaches as a youth. Good effort, Rory. Now let's win the game, hit the bench and let Brian Early try and carry us to victory. Still, it's preseason and the good dr. goodroll is rusty.

Clearly, there is only one viable candidate for juicing, and for him I've included a video for this juicing. Again look for Ro-Ro's cameo this time as Abe Lincoln playing the clarinet.





"Mr. Juicey, let's the sunshine in, so you can rock and roll through your day." Please hit play again and let the song replay as you read this. It's obvious Cookie Puss needs to let the sunshine in, as he is in a dark corner somewhere, clutching his Iggles blankie and knowing that Vick inevitably will start for his team... soon. Probably very soon. Here's the sunshine, Sunshine, let it in, everybody always worried about McNabb, brittle as Chucko Johnson in a no-touch game of tag, getting hurt with no backup. Now you wont have one overrated, better mobile but rather be a pocket quarterback, who can't win the big one, you'll have two. Somebody dial up Dante Culpepper and you'll have the best platoon of guys that are only good for running in circles, overthrowing their receivers (and blaming them for it), and for hitting the self-destruction button on themselves and their own franchises.

Perry, I want you to "Rock and Roll" through your day. Arguably the Eagles are maybe the only franchise that could sign Vick, after all his actions still qualify him as a role model to their fans. And I'm not condoning cruelty to animals, but in South Philly the fact he hasn't killed, maimed, or raped a person makes him a good guy (and in their opinion frankly a bit of a pussy).

I like how the Mr. Juicy video gets a little softer like Otis Day and the Knights, and perhaps, I should go a little easy on the Puss. With Vick an Eagle the target on Puss's back is bigger than that gut McNabb has been carrying the last four years. The target is so big if Perry were a backboard he might even prevent one his threepointers from being an airball.

Vick, the vile asshat, is back. I didn't think anybody could be dumber than his brother Marcus, and then Vick got arrested for running a dog-fighting ring. You couldn't script a dumber way to throw your career down the toliet and go to jail than fighting dogs. Now, there's somebody even dumber than Michael Vick, it's Jeffrey Lurie and any Eagle fan that cheers for that scumbag on Sunday when on one rare day he bails out Donovan McFlab and gets the eagles their fifth win of the season.

Mr. Juicey has been served. More to come.