Weakness...

That's what you boys are weakness. Once again the cyber league started with thunder, a little bit of empty growling, and then sad, sad silence. Kind of like a sexual experience with the Wrath of K.O.D. or for short the W.O.K.

Time to fire some shots across the bows, and let's get things heated, like Gerztoff in a horse stable...

I'll take the easy route and go afte equally obvious targets, now that Philadelphia is Vicktimizing the NiFfLe.

Isiah Thomas for all his dancing in circles with a tightly clutched ball in '81 and whenever Bill Lamebeer-brain rode him to an NBA title or two (seriously get a new victory dance) is the greatest con-man in NBA history. Why this dude still gets jobs as a decision maker is beyond me.

I couldn't figure out why Elgin Baylor or whatever-washed-up-too-tight-short-wearing- only-got-grainey-Zapruder-films-of-NBA-"legend"-that-g.m'd-the-Clippers kept his job for 20 years until I read the Clippers never wanted to win they were actually ran as a business designed to show profit (and somehow they did with a horsepiddle product), but I can't for the life figure out what sort of black-ops behind the scenes NY Knick plan justified hiring and not firing the world's worst sports manager. You think Isiah is holding equally grainy footage of him riding Magic's Johnson and is blackmailing the league?

Worst GM ever? Case in point:

Top 10 worst free agent signings of the decade:

You'll notice 1 through 3 are all Isiah Thomas signings, and terrible not just for the crap player but for a ton of other not thought out factors.

Add in the drafting of the Gamecock Fugees extra that was supposed to be the second coming of Dennis Rodman (if as a drunk they were right), having 12 roster spots filled by undersized point guards, and a personal life that is more Mike Tyson than the epitome of silky smooth good guy we once thought he was.

There was a time when Ike defended Bob Knight, and it was this glowing endorsement, Knight's credibility was at an all time low and Ike stood up for the former coach. It meant something.

These days, that bungled front office career has left Thomas coaching basically a NAIA team(what is it central florida state?) and things are so bad, Bob Knight would probably rather Luke "Program" Recker speak up for him than the smiling fraud. I did have "Car" Recker, but that was too low, and program works just take a look at Indiana, Arizona, after Luke left them, only Iowa seems half-way normal though piss-terrible.

Let's see W.O.K. check, check, check. Hank check. Shoats check.

Hmmmmm... who am I forgeting...

Football season is upon us, almost, and now we have the guy doing the Owner's verison of the reverse Midas touch of Isaih Thomas; Danny-Boy "Can't Get Off The" Schneid-er bringing another overpaid mediocre product to the DC market. He came in with the eager promise of another Jerry Jones, a guy who was going to turn the league on it's ear, a man willing to out Jerry Jones, Jerry Jones. Kind of like what Jerry Jones did to Al Davis, who once upon a time built a pretty decent legacy in Oakland then he lost the plot. What has Danny done? He just skipped all the years of success and got right into the Al Davis career portion of being a senile destory the team from the top boss.

Nobody needs a history lesson, but let's review just a couple of small items, everything the Jack was supposed to be is everything the new behomoth in Dallas is, in fact, for all the Redskins bluster their stadium was basically out of date within 3 years. I admit it's big, but like Schneide-r's ego it's little else.

What else... signing terrible overhyped over the hill players for too much. Firing coaches just as they finally get it going and sabotoging them with free agent cancer tumors. You know, throwing money at problems instead of common sense. Umm... summed up by Jeff George.

Anyway, I look forward to another year of averageness from the Deadskins. At least the cowboys rebuild even if they have to go to the bottom of the barrel to do a complete start over, Schneide-r like Forestor as a five year old just throws silly putty at a pile of legos and hopes a house will emerge.

So, we know one thing for sure the Redskins, the Dread(ful)skins, the Foreskins, will be blase like Ray Allen at best. The only thing that is interesting or noteworthy about that team is Chris Cooley being a vicodin short of pulling a Stephan Marbury on the world wide web (yeah, Isiah signed that guy too).

Don't tout their potential... every team from the old NFC East has been to the Superbowl more recently than the Redskins. That includes the Cardinals. Even Al Davis has been more recently than Danny Boy. So too, the Titans, the Flukeins, the Rams, the Seahawks, the friggin' Panthers, the Bucs? All told 20 NFL teams have been to the Superbowl more recently than the Skins. Skins fans should thank goodness the Saints, Browns and Jets organizations exist because the way Schneide-r's regime is going the wheels haven't just fallen off the bus, no, the Skins are a burnt out bus on the side of a highway in a third world country during a soccer riot. They might never get back to the superbowl. Obama needs to clean house locally and send a Death Panel to JKC stat.

Alright, that's most of you. I'll finish off the lot some other time. You're welcome, you all have been saturated as Mr. Juicy, got "Juicey Wit It" enjoy my theme song below. NSFW (Not Safe For Work) Video at least with the volume on loud. (BTW, Look for cameo by Jaime Patenude at the 1:20 mark and throughout the video, Ro-ro dancing in yellow, and if you look quickly Frank 3rd Degree Burns in a Richard Nixon mask).

Mr. Kleen - Juicy Wit It Part 2 from Gianfranco Espinoza on Vimeo.

Hurricane Bill on the move

Uh-oh. No word if this Hurricane likes to draw to the inside straight.

http://news.aol.com/article/hurricane-bill-in-atlantic/624904?icid=main|main|dl2|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fhurricane-bill-in-atlantic%2F624904

The People's Champ Fires Back

Posted for Perry:

I go off the grid a couple days and a juice war breaks out. This season has gotten off to a nice little start, it will be fun when the real action starts. I love that Billy even took to posting a YouTube Video on the blog – classy. I don’t have time to compose a proper retort to all the fire that came my way so I’ll have to pick everyone off one by one during the season.

My one serious thought for the season, I don’t in any way condone what Michael Vick did, period the end. He served his sentence and deserves a 2^nd chance. Its up to him whether he’s an “asshat” (never seen that word before reading Billy’s missive on Saturday) or if he changes.

That being said, from a football perspective its just plain nasty. The idea of Vick, Westbrook, Shady McCoy, D Jackson, and Macklin in the Eagles version of the Wildcat is scary …kind of like my step back 3 pointer which also got mentioned in Billy’s long winded post. Hopefully that thing gets lost like the remote when Billy and Hank are in the same room.

Change your facebook status boys (bending over perhaps?), the war has just begun.

People’s Champ

Mr. Juicey is Back

Did Ro-ro really say more juice and put up a photo of Kool-Aid?

What? Talk about fumbling the opening kick off.

If this is the start of this league this will be like taking candy from a baby. First REAL juicing of the week goes to bill dooley, who because of his moniker obviously expects a lot of it.

Bill Dooley, Mr. Juicy has been dispatched to you stat.
Not only does Kool-Aid essentially lack juice, a fact I knew basically an infant, it also is a popular phrase in reference to Jonestown. "You are drinking the Kool-Aid" meaning you are a mindless lemming following the crowd to your own death. In essence, the complete and utter opposite of juicing somebody. So, it doesn't really work on two levels. If I really were to try and be understanding, granted I'm grasping at sugar water straws here, and view the image only for the "Oh, Yeah," comment like "Snap!" but 80s style, okay... but why settle for a picture why not a video... Watch for a Ro-ro cameo midway through holding a newspaper.



While I admit I served a juicing with Mr. Juicy for Dr. Goodroll, and that too may lack any real juice, at least the name has something to do with juice. Course, Ro-ro ain't the villain here, we all know that. And, indeed his attempt to add some multi-media to this corner of the Internet, ham-fisted as it is, should actually be applauded. Sure, the execution like that of our quarterback in December through early January (we have no idea how he plays in late january), was lacking, but the effort was there. I liked the prison on the premises of the Vet thought, but I would have probably gone with Vick's already got his personal lockerroom--or something along those lines. Still, the effort was there. Ironically, a compliment he most often heard from his coaches as a youth. Good effort, Rory. Now let's win the game, hit the bench and let Brian Early try and carry us to victory. Still, it's preseason and the good dr. goodroll is rusty.

Clearly, there is only one viable candidate for juicing, and for him I've included a video for this juicing. Again look for Ro-Ro's cameo this time as Abe Lincoln playing the clarinet.





"Mr. Juicey, let's the sunshine in, so you can rock and roll through your day." Please hit play again and let the song replay as you read this. It's obvious Cookie Puss needs to let the sunshine in, as he is in a dark corner somewhere, clutching his Iggles blankie and knowing that Vick inevitably will start for his team... soon. Probably very soon. Here's the sunshine, Sunshine, let it in, everybody always worried about McNabb, brittle as Chucko Johnson in a no-touch game of tag, getting hurt with no backup. Now you wont have one overrated, better mobile but rather be a pocket quarterback, who can't win the big one, you'll have two. Somebody dial up Dante Culpepper and you'll have the best platoon of guys that are only good for running in circles, overthrowing their receivers (and blaming them for it), and for hitting the self-destruction button on themselves and their own franchises.

Perry, I want you to "Rock and Roll" through your day. Arguably the Eagles are maybe the only franchise that could sign Vick, after all his actions still qualify him as a role model to their fans. And I'm not condoning cruelty to animals, but in South Philly the fact he hasn't killed, maimed, or raped a person makes him a good guy (and in their opinion frankly a bit of a pussy).

I like how the Mr. Juicy video gets a little softer like Otis Day and the Knights, and perhaps, I should go a little easy on the Puss. With Vick an Eagle the target on Puss's back is bigger than that gut McNabb has been carrying the last four years. The target is so big if Perry were a backboard he might even prevent one his threepointers from being an airball.

Vick, the vile asshat, is back. I didn't think anybody could be dumber than his brother Marcus, and then Vick got arrested for running a dog-fighting ring. You couldn't script a dumber way to throw your career down the toliet and go to jail than fighting dogs. Now, there's somebody even dumber than Michael Vick, it's Jeffrey Lurie and any Eagle fan that cheers for that scumbag on Sunday when on one rare day he bails out Donovan McFlab and gets the eagles their fifth win of the season.

Mr. Juicey has been served. More to come.

more juice

Juice!!

free refills will be served

Of Course Vick Plays For Philly. Of Course He Does.

Filthadelphia keeping it real, showing their enduring love for Donovan McNabb by signing Michael Vick. Another classy move by a classy franchise. They should start booing McNabb right now.

Too bad the jail at the Vet is no more, they could save themselves some time. Maybe they could have one behind the bench at the new stadium.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4397938

Not only that, they signed him for 1.6 million for the first year, 5 million for the second year. Another joke of a move. I wouldn't expect anything less from the Eagles

Cyber Shoats

I am officially in Cyberland -- ready to take on Cyber Shoats. While he has moved the Cyber League to his online home turf, I predict he will have no Cyber Home Advantage. I witnessed Shoats melt down in New Orleans when he couldn't find a Cyber Cafe. I witnessed him bang his fist on the dash in Richmond the night he lost his purse. I am ready to pay the lion this year -- and I felt the need to embrace our new forum.

Shoats -- do we have any informal rules for this league or are rules out the window here in your cyber world?

PTL

Blake is in the zone

Classic emails. Great thread. Good idea on the blog. I give this to Week 5 to fizzle. I am in this year. Ready for action. The family life is more stable as the kids have gotten a little older. I can now shift my laser focus back to my Midas touch.

Updating my my facebook status to "In the zone".

PS -- I would have gotten out at least two spreadsheets.

Reverse KOD offer

I will just pick every game week 1 and that will be my season, fair enough?

L3K's post

I might go 4-12, but not because of my living situation. I appreciate the excuses, but let's cut to the chase. I suck. If anything, my habitation status will only help. After all, Annie does watch the OTB channel with me.

Rory's non-preview

over/under on how many weekly spreadsheets blake gets out all season: 1

"in a relationship"...that was funny. took about 3 dates. so whipped already.

Hank's preview

I've met Forester's relationship girl, and I think that she will help Scotty go .500. Shady and Romo will have difficulty with their Jess' to just miss the playoffs. Mo will noshow. I hear that Kissal and Roro are playing hide the tennis racket in their best all white uniforms. 4-12. Blake still blaked after all these years goes 8-7 and forgets to make one pick. Shoats starts filming a porn and has a strong second half at 9-7. Glloyd gets caught up in looks and magazines and daddy issues to go 5-11. Perry and his wife start hanging with dancers but the helps his record to go 9-7/

Cassie Ditka Hardesty: 16-0.

Bill's Preview

I'll be happy to go 7-11.

By the way, might have access to a big football suicide pool. Anyone wanting to play let me know. I will probably run a sub-pool for us. Unlike the hoops pool, it will be same teams. Only because you'll have to send them to me for me to submit so I'll be collecting them anyway.

I think the big pool is $100. Probably will do $25 to $50 on top as likely none of us wins the big one, but at least somebody will more than break even.

As for picks... KOD 0-0. Forester... new love is like jelly on the brain: 3-12-1 including non pick losses. Puss 10-4-2. Lloyd 4-12. Hank 6-10, Bake 10-3-3. Ryan Moore 5-4-6. Shoats 7-9. Bill 15-0-1.

2009 preview

That's right, after a hiatus due to general apathy, I seek to reinvigorate the picks league, with trash talking in full gear. College season starts September 3, pro season September 10. But I see no reason not to open the trash talking season right now. Here is why I will pummel this league:

Bill - recently married, kid due any day, renovating a house. organizing a poker tournament. End result - no time for good picks. He'll go 7-11.

Rory - 2 kids and a wife haven't slowed him down previously but he'll focus too much on the Spiders and the Cowgirls will inevitably implode again and his season will likewise plummet. 11-7.

Perry - 2 kids, a wife, a 15 year history of horrendous picks. I don't think I need say any more. 5-13.

KOD - Has a toddler and a wife and a history of making impulse picks on the Thursday night favorite without waiting to see who is playing or what the line is. A great strategy to finish 6-12.

L3K - He'll be distracted by his new co-habitation status, the Mets awfulness, the Yankees inevitable run to the championship and the Breeders Cup. After that race, he'll go on a heater to finish 10-8 after starting 5-7.

Forester - Recently changed his facebook status to "In a Relationship". Has a history of picking over/unders, just a terrible idea. Over/under on his wins this year doing so: 9. I'll go with the under. 8-10.

Hank - Married to his wife and to his dog, he'll be distracted by the housing market, and not seeing Bruce play Blind Terry/Iceman in Chicago with throw him into a dark mood for all of October/November. 10-8.

Blake - darkhorse candidate to make a run, but he's similarly got a wife and two kids (I sense a trend here). Much like the Skins, he's the offseason champ only. 10-8.

Mo - Bucking the trend, he has a wife and three kids, exponentially decreasing his odds of picking well. It could get ugly. 7-11.

Me - no wife, no kids, no mortgage, no credit card debt. I work 3 days a week, plenty of time for research on games. Hasn't helped in the past but this year it does. 12-6.

Bring it.