Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Hoops Pool

There is a clear cut line about complete abject failure in the 100 win college basketball hoops pool. That line is 100. If your five teams you picked from last year fail to win their total of last year... you did a terrible job, and should never think about sports betting again. Or at least wagering on college basketball.

Maybe you should bet on the NFL, or try the National Heads Up Poker Championship Brackets. Well, actually if you can't get over 100 wins by the time the season is over you are better off curling into a little ball setting yourself on fire and trying to put it out with a battle axe and by chewing on grenades. Last thing you should do is spend any more of your hard earned money gambling.

It's not hard to do. And lucky for your players nobody was that stupid this year. Right now, everybody has already passed the mark. Newcomer John Price is the lone exception but he's at 99 wins. I'm sure Kentucky, Kansas, St. Johns, Arizona or Harvard will give him a win before the season expires. By the way, John was one of two players to pick an Ivey league team. The other is a league veteran. Psssssst... the Ivey league doesn't have a conference tournament. Hard to make up three missed games.

At the top of the leaderboard it's a bit of six man race. The trio are up a game on myself, Eric Johnson, and Rory O'Brien. I still believe the trio won't be beat.

Let's assess my chances Charlotte can't win a basketball game even if the other team stays home. They are in a free fall and things don't get any easier for them to end the season and in the A10 tournament. Might be my best chance, as one of my opponents mentioned, is for them to be the last team out in the NCAAs and get hot in the N.I.T. and backdoor some wins. Probably won't be enough. The other team having me tear my diminishing hair off my head is the 'Eers of West Virginia.

Please they have as much chance of stringing together a streak of wins as you do finding one of their fans with a full row of front teeth. Don't get me started on Ole Miss. That's what I get for picking a team that is thinking about adding a mascot from a sci-fi movie that is over thirty years old. General Ackbar? How does this happen.

Rory's problem is also West Virginia's consistency. It was in West Virginia that Ifirst heard the "Do you want to see my mouse tatoo," then after an underwear tug down and not tatoo the punchline "I guess my p***y ate it." I've since seen it on one of the reality shows my wife watches and I sometimes pay attention to, Real Housewives of Orange County.

Contrasting the fake bake, silicone injected housewives with what passed for a woman, that hooved creature with the shape of a soft-serve ice cream gone awry, that told me that joke is like comparing West Virginia to a decent team in the pool like Georgetown who could actually beat anybody that's decent (course Georgetown can lay some stinkers too).

Eric Johnson has Ole Miss, did I mention general Ackbar.

The best pick so far in terms of win/losses is Charlotte which is already plus 8 from last year. Georgia Tech is plus 6. Oregon is plus 4 and so is Kentucky and Harvard. The worst picks are Arizona -8, Mississippi State -3.

Also, five of you have yet to pay me. Ship the chedder boys.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Correction...

Sorry Chris has Tennessee as his tiebreaker. They had 21 wins last year.

NCAA Hoops Pool 5 Teamer...

This has been a rough hoops year for me on a personal level (see the hapless North Carolina Tar Heels and a Richmond team more likely head to the N.I.T. than the NCAAs) but from a sports betting perspective it's hard to not get excited. There is a five way tie for first in the hoops pool with some of my favorite bettors leading the way.

Five way tie for first. Five men on the court. Five Dollar Footlong. Five Finger Discount. Five. Five. Five. Five is way too many.

Let's break them down. The slate(s) most likely to win is the trifecta: Andrew Bird, Chris Brancati, and Davey Bourg (right now only one of them has paid so he's probably the favorite of the bunch). They all have Kansas, Kentucky, Texas, Georgetown, and Georgia Tech.

Those five in all liklihood will have the same wins for all three players. Thus if they finish first the tiebreaker will be implemented. The tiebreaker is they had to pick one team from last year, with any win total, and whatever they win this year they subtract from last years total.

Bird picked a midwestern team, Detroit. Detroit is known for having houses for sale that are going for less than a slice of bread, Dick Vitale coached the college team and the pro team there before ESPN decided to torture their viewers and hire him for broadcasting, and lastly Bill Laimbeer was well known for coaching his fellow whiny bitches to an WNBA title. I believe he was the first awash-in-estrogen coach to win a title. He's like the reverse Jaime Lee Curtis. If he's married to a woman he's a lesbian, and he could Lisa Leslie a run for greatest Big Woman ever.

What about the Detroit team as a tiebreaker. He got off to a good start. Last year they had 7 wins. This year they are up to 14. That's plus 7? Is that any good. I don't know, I haven't added up the other two.

Davey Bourg also went with a good 'ol midwestern team Indiana. The land of Bobby Knight, Mike Davis, candy striper pants on boys, and now Tom Crean. Indiana also had a measley win total with 6. Now they are up to 9. That's plus 3. Indiana is also involved in the Big 10's failed attempt to become relevant in sports by raiding Pittsburgh or some other school from the Big East. Um... no. Notre Dame or nothing but really what's so precious about Notre Dame right now. College Football has passed that league by.

Chris Brancati selected, and I think this must be a typo, Washington. Really? They had 26 wins last year, this year they have 14. If USC was allowed to play the Pac 10 tournament this year it would have been possible for the Pac 10 to get zero bids. As it stands they'll get one and it won't be Washington unless they win the tournament, in fact, that is true for every team but USC.

The other picks tied for first include myself. Here's why I won't win. Instead of Texas, Georgetown, and Georgia Tech, I have West Virginia, Ole Miss and Charlotte. Let's just compare them in that order. Texas is a top five team. Sure they had a swoon in January but that is nothing new for Rick Barnes and their yearly bounce back in February and sometimes in March makes them a safer bet than the Big East Burdened West Virginia.

Georgetown-Ole Miss should be advantage me, but Ole Miss can't beat Arkansas which is a
supposed gimme. The SEC might be more tightly bunched than the Big East which despite being loaded at the top has a lot of gimmes at the bottom. Lastly Georgia Tech-Charlotte. The A10 has 6 teams with NCAA aspirations and at this time resumes. Georgia Tech plays in the ACC which actually has fewer candidates. They are probably only second to Duke. At this point it's hard to suggest Charlotte is second best in their league. Advantage trifecta.

The other guy in first is Eric Johnson. He has Kansas, Kentucky, Texas, Georgia Tech and Ole Miss. He's got a shot depending on how deep Ole Miss goes in their conference tournament. If somebody can knock off Gtown for him and Ole Miss can win a couple of games he might pull it off. Ole Miss, is generally a stellar team for a deep run. Experienced starting lineup, great guard play, and underrated, however they are Krispy Kremes with a hole in the middle with no center or inside game to speak of at all.

I should mention that Rory Obrien is only one game behind. He's got West Virginia instead of Texas. I'll be surprised if the 'eers outwin Texas. According to the eye test Texas would handle them, and there are a lot of opportunites for wins in the Big 12. Texas isn't just good at college football these days.

Conclusion: Andrew Bird will be our winner, unless Chris Brancati actually picked another team and I typed in the wrong one.